5 days and he's no longer a baby...

Evan's almost 1... I'm excited and sad. Last month I was really sad, almost like I was grieving just a tad... my baby is almost a toddler.

Now I feel quite happy, and Jerry feels the same way. Evan needs us less and less. At the park, I try to hold his hand as we walk toward geese or a dirty green pond or the swings or the sandbox, and he pulls his hand away from me (even jerking his whole shoulder away from me) to walk ahead. I laugh... I'm glad he has a spark of independence in him.

He wants to eat by himself. Since his fine motor skills are still developing, he can't quite feed himself with a spoon. But I put my hand over his as he clutches a baby spoon, and I guide his spoon into the food and help him bring it to his mouth. He looks at his hand and the food very intently... happy to do such a big-boy thing.

He does things he shouldn't do... eats bark, lifts the toilet lid when I'm filling the bath, climbs onto the dishwasher door when it's open, chases the cat and pulls his ear hair, eats the cat's food, tries to pull down the floor lamps... and each time we say "no," he gets a look of stubborn independence on his face, but then stops and walks away, sometimes returning a minute later...

He's a good boy. He loves to cuddle. This morning we went to the park and all the baby swings were being used, so I sat on a big kid swing and put him on my lap so that he was facing me... when we first started swinging he laughed with glee, wind blowing his red hair straight up, and then he rested his head on my chest and smiled. He's getting older but he's still my baby.