Quiet Time

Sometime just before Isaac was born, Evan started fighting nap time. He deviated from his usual routine of playing alone in his room for 45 minutes or so followed by crashing out on his bed. I knew things had changed when he would alternate between playing happily and then calling out my name for 2 hours straight. I kept him in there thinking he would eventually fall asleep. Only sometimes was I right.

So between end-of-pregnancy crankiness and the desire to not hear anymore crying or complaining, I chose my battles and decided to let him skip his naps. Regularly.

Once Isaac was born and my mom became my daycare helper for 6 weeks, I made some changes. With her available to cover for me, I put the daycare kids down for their naps and then took Evan and Isaac upstairs with me. We started a nice tradition: quiet time. The first rule of quiet time is that he does not have to sleep. Every day I tell Evan he can either take a nap, or have quiet time in “mommy daddy's room.” Guess which one he always picks?

Evan and I sit on the bed and read books like Tales of SpongeBob from Bikini Bottom. When Evan gets too tired to listen, he lies back, plays with my hair, sucks his thumb, and starts to breathe all regular. Usually he breaks the first rule and falls asleep.

But this is not just about winning the nap battle or even regaining my break; I have time alone with Evan. For 9 hours a day, he shares me. Sometimes he wants me to observe a horrible train crash that he has orchestrated or for me to hold him, but I tell him to wait while I nurse Isaac or wipe another kid's nose or prepare a bottle. In the evenings, he hears me ask for “mommy time” while I read emails or watch Seinfeld reruns. Even though I stay at home with him, I am not really a stay-at-home mom. I still have to schedule time with him or he feels forgotten.

So I love our time together, even if it is only for 20 minutes. Yesterday when we were hanging out on the bed together, I said, “quiet time is only for mommy, Evan, and Isaac, huh?” and with a delighted smile on his face, he nodded his head.